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  The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (These are *real*)


   ** Compiled By: Bill Atchley (atchley@coltrane.gnets.ncsu.edu) **


Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know
   I've Been A  Liar All My Life?

I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

I Wanna Whip Your Cow

I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised

I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line

If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John
   Was Breaking My Heart

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out

Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too

You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd

You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

I Spent My Last Ten Dollars On Birth-Control And Beer

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